Just crapping

I had been feeling depressed in this few days. I thought that I had overcome all these indeed I was still walking in the darkness. I dunno how and what should I do nor who could I shared the overbearing problems. In short, I am knackered!

I still have another 4 days before my ‘report’ due, yet I could not start my lab work just because of the incomplete set of lab apparatus. The only reason they give me is to wait because of the delay from the supplier. I had thought of using my own wicked way to urge the technicians but in the end I didn’t do that just because I do not want them to get into troubles. I had tried other alternatives of replacing the important components with something else. I spent whole night to come out with something which I could think of, cheap and conservative method yet I got this response: “Amoi, ini susah oh…, u tunggu sajalah u punya connection cap itu, nanti itu white elephant rosak macam mana? …” I ward off with thanks. I dunno how I should react…

I’m going to hate the month of May. This is the month that I had to bear other people’s problems and burden. Phone calls, sms and e-mails… Could I say ‘No’ without hurting anyone? That’s why I’m gonna believe one saying that ‘The older you grow, the heavier the responsibility that you had to bear.” I had never believed in such a saying until I myself was in the situations. Now, I realized a lot of things that others suffered before… a friend of mine once told me that “Human have to live by the situations not the other way round”. I used to laugh at him and teased him to be more optimistic… well, now I realized why he said so…

End of this month I had to left for Tronoh and KL for about a week or two for an important (a must go) trip. If I were to choose, I choose not to go… but the responsibility is there. I began to worry about the time and the energy that I have. This is because I thought that the travelling starts only in August. Man proposed, God disposed.. my travelling have to start end of this months.. haiz… a long sigh……….. lab work stuck, programming stuck, brain stuck… everything stuck… what a suck?

By the way, I have to leave my studies for a while. I really hope I could catch up with it. Besides, I had been wondering if I was buried with problems of my studies, who are going to help me??? Praying hard and hoping for aids from above ba I suppose!!! …

Gotta stop crapping and start working...

An encouragement for myself... Cheer up Yun! ^-^